The ocean of emotions.

Today is his birthday. I dialed the same number again and again and then allowed it to let go after realizing the fact that it does not exist anymore. He left for his heavenly abode two years before. The day, May 8,2008, is the one I will never forget. Sagar came to my house, fully drunk. He had lost the only person he loved more than his life. He had crossed all the possible boundaries  for that one person. But Like all other girls, she was selfish. And I have no regrets or offense to say this now, because I have seen one of my best friends die for nothing. They met. Fell in love. He proposed. She accepted. Vows of togetherness were taken.  But today, he realized how sunken the promises were. She had decided to get married to an NRI guy her parents had chosen. When a girl has  an option between a lucrative future with a guy of her caste and someone whom she loves, most of the times, she goes for the former choice. It’s beauty of being a girl that you can easily neglect someone with whom you are in love for 3-4 years. She was no exception. But he couldn't bear that shock. When he came to me, he was scattered into pieces, crying like a kid who might have lost its loveliest thing. We were together for next three hours. I tried every way to console him, but I failed to realize what is coming next. If only I knew he would do such a thing, I could have made any attempt to stop him from doing. But alas. Though I knew how much this fact had shattered him, I believed it is more of his drink showing such extreme emotions. I was wrong. After lecturing him for three hours, I asked him to go to home and to have some sleep, oblivious that this is the last time I am talking to him. He committed suicide on that very evil night, on his birthday. I was his best friend and perhaps the only friend who knew every deepest secret of his life. How could I not see what was on his mind? I will never be able to forget it and forgive myself for that reason. I am sorry buddy. I could have saved you. You really deserved more than that shameless and selfish creature. I miss you. I really do. Wish you many happy returns of the day Sagar. May your soul rest in peace.