A committed loser :@

 "What do you know about girls dude, you are still single". A "committed" friend of mine was having heated argument with me about the most complicated creatures on the earth.  Those harsh words pierced through my feelings. It was I who helped him to fall in love. It was I who made it possible for them to be in love. And now the same guy was insulting and abusing me for not knowing anything about relationship.


Yes. I am single. But I understand the delicate heart of a girl way more than you losers who treat them as an object. To be single is my own choice. And for your information, I do not have bank-balance neither do I have stunning looks or any special talent. But girls still feel comfortable with me. Ever wondered why is that most beautiful and talented girls are ready to commit to a dumb like me? It's simple. They need someone who understands, supports and love them the way they are. Not male chauvinist pigs like you who proudly want to show the world that they have a girlfriend and who do not think anything other than sleeping with them. I am still single because I feel I should be in love only when I have the potential to keep my girl happy, to take care of that precious gem, be it in any sense. I don't give a damn about what world or suckers like you think of me. What do you feel so proud about? When your girlfriend expresses her concerns with me despite you being her lover, what have you earned in a relationship? You feel inferior to her because she is more talented, beautiful and earns more than you. So you ask her to quit her job. Is that all you have got, you asshole? Ever considered raising your standards instead of not torturing her on a daily basis? And you still have guts to provoke me ! You call me flirty. Yes I am ! But I never hurt a girl's feelings . I respect them the way I respect my mother. They too have a heart. In fact much more sensitive and caring than you guys. And not everyone is a bitch. Even a bitch has a heart that seeks respect. You taunt me for being virgin? I have had chances to sleep with them when you din even know how to talk to a girl. But I don't need labels just to prove you suckers that I can do it. And I am NOT afraid of commitment. I am just waiting for a proper time and a perfect person. How is that your business anyway? People like you are responsible for girls losing their faith in boys. If being in love means stalking your girlfriend, calling her at midnight just to check whether she is on call with someone else, being jealous when she talks to some other guy, asking her to stop to meet her guy friends, calling her in front of a bunch of people and asking her to say "I love you" so that you can boast about it, not allowing her to wear short clothes just because she looks adorable and someone else might hit on her, and asking her to sacrifice her job because she earns more than you, then I am proud that I am not a committed loser !

Yet Another Lover Left Behind !

(Phone ringing)

He : (Not again !) Hey,how are you?

She: Ohh.. why bother? Does it even matter to you ?

He : (Not really .. ) okay, lay it on me !

She : Where have you been these days? Can't you just call me once?

He : I told you, I was busy in meeting friends and packing luggage.

She : So finally you are coming to Pune. Now I can keep an eye on you

He : (what the heck ! you are doing that ever since you were born !) yeah. Let's see.

She : So have you thought about it?

He: (For God's sake, stop playing with me !) About what?

She : You very well know about what.

He : I thought you were kidding (as always)

She : No I am damn serious. I love you.

He : (Why on the earth it has to be me? :( ) But you loved someone else 3 months before, and before that you were serious for two more guys.

She : That was an infatuation . I think we can get along well.

He : (You "think?") Look,I have already explained it to you. I like you but not in that sense

She : This line is reserved for girls. Don't you feel any shame ? A girl has proposed you and you are acting like a star?

He : (I know why she has proposed me,but anyway) Nope. It may be easy for you but for me, it's a critical decision. what if I say I don't feel the same way?

She : Then you are an asshole

He : (Thought so ! wow. Somebody you love becomes an asshole in the next moment. cool)Thanks. I always was.

She : Do you have any other girl in life? you can tell me

He : (Why do I have to be committed to say NO to a girl like you?) No.

She : Then what is your problem? Am I not good looking? Earning? Educated?

He :( you are way more than that ! But I know you can't handle ANY relation. And your moody nature sucks !) Yes. you are. But my expectations are different.

She : What?

He : Forget, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. you deserve much better than an asshole like me

She : Don't play smart with me. You have to tell me in one word. yes or no? I already have many boys behind me so you should better hurry up.

He : ( Hahaha. what a line ! salute to that. Don't you get it? A big NO) I told you, I am not ready yet. you are free to do whatever you want.

She : Then I will have to stop talking to you.

He : ( As if I am dying to talk to you !) I don't want to lose one of my friends for nothing.

She : You have already lost me. Good night. And delete my number from your list now. Ba-bye

He : (wow. Thanks for the great news ! ) take care. God bless you . Ba-bye.

Girls ! They are complicated !

My Life Partner!

Well, Since few days, I am getting this question every now and then. "Mani, what are your expectations from your life partner?" And all I can do is to stare at the questioner! I mean come on, I am just 22 and I have many things to accomplish in my life before I get into this love feeling. (Of course, hope so, it will be a love marriage!). It's not that I am a saint and I never flirted with girls. I did and I do! But deciding your life partner needs time. I mean much time. I have a poster of "suggestion for Success" hanging on my wall and the very first point is "Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery. Anyway, not getting into that "I-will-give-you-lectures-about-how-a-life-partner-should-be" mode, I will just jot down things that I expect from my life partner!

1. She should NOT be perfect. Well, yes, no one is perfect. But still there are certain creatures in this world who are close to perfect. I mean I have seen some girls who are gorgeous, talented, good in nature, passionate and what not! But so far I have observed that perfection goes hand in hand with the arrogance. I want someone who is down to earth. At least She should know the fact that she is not the only one in the world.

2. The most important condition, She should take care of my parents. I am the only son of my parents and considering "I-want-my-own-space" mentality of our young generation, I think I may need to search for a long time for a woman possessing this quality. I don't expect her to bow down before my parents and take care of them as if it's her duty. But at least she should give them the respect they deserve. And of course, same is equally applicable to me when it comes to her parents.

3. She should be at least 5'1"-5'2".

4. Though I am of the mentality to prefer nature over the looks, things need to be a bit practical. Of course, nature is the first thing I will look at, but yes, she should at least be noticeable, if not good looking.

After all, I will have to my life with her, and you know how guys are :)

5. She should be educated! I think it is very important to have that compatibility level with your fellow partner, otherwise practically, things become difficult. I am okay if she earns or doesn't earn. It really doesn't matter. Because deep inside I know I will earn enough amount so as not to let my family deprived of any facilities! So even if she earns, it's her choice whom to spend money on. I will not interfere with it!

6. I won't give a damn about her background or any bad thing related to her family. After all, she didn’t born in that particular family by her choice :) And it's the girl I want to marry, not her family.

7. I am not race-caste biased. My parents had love marriage. Though my mother has some personal reasons and she wants me to marry me a girl of our caste, I can persuade her! I am okay to marry a girl of different caste or religion. It is least of my worries. And if she loves me, I have enough guts to convince her parents about the same factor!

8. I don't mind if she drinks or smokes or is a non-veg eating girl  (My entire family excluding me is vegetarian. I had to learn to eat non-veg to survive in hostel and now in south India). But there should be a limit about drinking-smoking habits. I think these things do not necessarily decide a person's character. It's okay to do them in a moderate proportion.

9. She should be caring and romantic. At least honest in relationship. I don't give a damn about her previous life. Whether she had a boyfriend or not or anything for that matter. But once we are in a relationship, we should be loyal to each other.

10. I am enough broad minded to accept the fact that if she is working too, then she may not be able cook or may have to stay for long hours in the company or she may have friends or colleagues just like I do. These people might be in our lives before we will even meet each other. So cut the crap! She will have her liberty and own-space about these things :)

11. I prefer someone who is from my field. Though the lowest of all conditions. I think if partners are from the same educational background then it helps them to understand each other’s concerns in more relative ways.

12. I am okay if she is elder to me by 2-3 years. It doesn't matter. After all, we never know what will happen in next moment :) I want to be with her and not with her age

Well, as of now, this is it! I believe these are very simple and straightforward expectations, still I can compromise if situation demands it. (Sometimes even a single factor about the person is sufficient to spend the entire life with him/her!). It's been quite some time that I haven't posted anything on this blog. GMAT is on my nerves. 46 days to go. More on this later.

My Friends,My Life.. :)

How many people are there with whom you can share the deepest secret knowing that it will remain a secret? That if the entire world refuse to stay with you, they will always be there behind you? That they can do anything just to make you smile? That they can travel all across the way just to "see" you at once? that you can call them not caring what time of the night it is, just to say "I am missing you"? In short how many friends you have as your "BEST" friends? 1?2?4? Well, I am blessed in this case, I have at least 12 such friends who are an integral part of my life. Who made my life. Who were/are/will be there with me through thick and thin. Who believed in me. Who always stood behind me. They are the people I own for a lifetime. Here are the people I love more than my life.

Not to make this list contentious, I will list them alphabetically :)

1. Akanksha - This girl came in my life one and half years before, but man! It feels like she is there with me since my childhood. An ever smiling gal,a chatter box. She knows almost everything about my life. The best thing about her is I can fool her anytime and she doesn't mind! She always believed in my capabilities and assured me that I am destined to do greater things in my life. She can talk for hours, and the best part is you don't get bored with that :) God bless u my buddy..Tu duuu duuunn !!

2. Angha - She is with me since my collage days, but we came closer few years before. If she is there,I don't need anyone else. She can tolerate my balderdash for hours,and still can say, "I love it when you talk!" This is the only case I am into a role of a chatter. She is a no-nonsense girl and I am still investigating if she has any of those "girls" qualities. She hate shopping, for example. She doesn't like chocolates. And she may not talk unless asked to! And yes,she came traveling 1000 kms just because I said "I am feeling lonely!!" Crazy?? You bet she is!

3. Ashish - This guy is an equal mixture of coolness and sentiments and a damn good cook. He was my collage roommate, now working in Delhi and god, I miss him. I miss all those parties, all that struggle for money to have two bottles of beer. Sharing only a cigarette among three friends, those forest night-outs, those long night talks, those sharing of secrets. I miss you buddy. :) Saale "garib" ! :P

4. Alex - He is destined to rule the world. I spent few months with him, but he always will be an icon for me. At the age of 22, he had every plan about how to make money, and opened his own company. He always has a bigger picture on his mind and he can beat anyone when it comes to applying profit making fundamentals. Sheer talent!

5. Diya - She is a beauty queen!  And yet manages to go with no ego or arrogance. A damn romantic and jolly person I have ever met. And yes, she is flirty too :P When I took critical decisions of my life, she was the one who guided me. She taught me how to struggle for a dream and make it a reality. She is forthright and is never afraid to speak her mind. I mean it's rare to see a girl with both "beauty and brain" (no offense!). I call her at any possible weird timings but she never complains. All she says is "Hey sweetie,are you okay?" :D 

6. Mahim - She is two years elder to me, but I bet she looks at least 10 years younger! There are countless poor creatures who had proposed her, but bad luck! When I hang out with her, almost everyone on the street stares at us wondering what good deeds this boy had done in the past to be with her. And mind you, if you even dare to go out with her, you should be extremely conscious about how you look. She made me go home from a party just because I was wearing a pair of jeans for the third time in a row :) . She is very organized and one mistake can make you suffer at least for a "3-hour-lecture" :P

7. Nisha - We came closer through our MBA coaching classes. And whoever said girls are not good in mathematics or technical, was a liar! She alone is sufficient to beat 10 techies like me. She is a career oriented person and have a clear idea about what she is doing or why she is doing. A party animal, always ready for hangouts (at least with me :)). If I feel lonely, all I have to do is to call her or to meet her! We meet, we talk on phone and then again we come online for a talk! It never feels enough to be with her. Now she is in IIM-A, but she never misses calling me once in a day.

8. Vaiju - This guy is more like a brother to me than a friend. A crazy, wild, careless, not-afraid-to-do-anything kinda guy. He is the one who can do anything (yes,anything) for me. He was there with me almost in every phase of my life. And yes, he abandoned his girlfriend just because she dint like me and asked him to choose either of us. If he or I were gay,we would have made a very nice couple :). He knows in and out of me and can go beyond the normal boundaries to make me smile. Love you buddy. :)

9. Rachana - She is the only person who can tell you what is going on my mind. No matter how good I am in convincing people, I cannot play words with her and I hate that fact. Even before I talk, she can predict what will I say and in what mood I am. Gosh! Sometimes I am so afraid of her that I literally keep my mouth shut and just perform role of a good listener. I guess she knows about me more than my mother, or more than any other person on the earth.

10. Sunny - He is with me since my school days. A very down to earth person and my best mate. He is so in our family that sometimes my parents don't even miss me if he is there. He helps them in everything and I always think that he is a part of my family. A very honest and loving creature!

11. Sumit - He also was my roommate in engineering. He taught me how to take everything in life in a positive manner. In 4 years,I haven't seen him depressed even for a single day! The "best-sportsman-of-the-year" award winner for 3 consecutive years, this guy knows how to live a life! It's very hard to find what is going on his mind and damn, he is handsome! With 6 ft height and an athlete built, any girl can fall prey to him. He is the person I talk when I am depressed.

12. Sweetu ( shiksha) -10 PM and I have to be online. No matter what! Even a difference of 5 minutes here and there brings down her to "I-don't-wanna-talk-with-you-EVER" mood. In her case, distance never really mattered to me. We spend endless hours chatting together and though through chatting, we are in damn good relationship. She is easy to go out with, a very innocent and uncomplicated person.

Thanks guys for being with me.you are the first 12 people I never wanna lose in my journey of life. Cheers!

Why did you leave me? When did you leave me? Where was I when this happened?

Breaking up is painful. Perhaps one of the most painful experiences an individual can suffer. Often times in the days and weeks after a love break up all the signs become painfully clear. The tiny changes that you do not notice when you're still along with your ex stare you in the face when you're alone and thinking back. Aside from wallowing in self-pity or anger, you swim in alcohol or follow the path of destruction called "smoking" or pen down the things and later tear them off to recover from a heartbreak, at least temporarily. Until you realize that you  are just making your life hell by allowing these things to enter in your life. So you quit, but the pain still remains alive.

You do everything to forget the pain of having to let go of your partner after what seemed to be a thousand years of being together. You try to put yourself back together and learn to accept that things like this happen. But your mind refuse any co-ordination with your feelings. No matter how much you love your gal, she seems to make everything hard for you two. You know that no one loves your gal more than you do; however, in the end, you have to let her go.You have to face the fact that the relationship is not just working anymore.

You hate it that you’re now just one of the ex-boyfriends on your partner's list.

You sensed it when you were still together. Then again, you felt that her love was real and you were sure about your feelings, too. There were more good things than bad things in your relationship. You are a typically stubborn guy so you pursued the relationship even though your instincts told you otherwise. And finally one day,despite of your pain-taking attempts, your most dreaded fear became a reality!

And the journey of yours with "no-one-around" begins. You suddenly feel like not looking in mirror,because you refuse to accept that it will show you your losing face. You madly look at the cell again and again and carry it with you almost 24/7, hoping that she will call, but it never rings. You find yourself dialing only one number, no matter whom you want to call to.

Every little moment irritates you in a way that you literally don't sleep for days, even for weeks. You just don't care about what you wear, with whom you are talking, whether you had your lunch, whether you had pain, whether you cried for hours . Hell. Is this what you deserve for being honest in relationship?

How it can be so easy for someone just to throw you apart for materialistic things and to make you scattered for entire life? To make you emotionally killed that you won't even dare to utter that "Four letter word" for rest of your life?  Even after months of your break-up, you can't forget a single moment being shared. Can't this creature called GOD see you dying for nothing?

Why someone makes you pay for your honest things? Why can't you just ignore her and make-up with any girl around, specially when you have options and yes, now experience.

How many tears must you shed to cleanse yourself of her? Someone said Reality is a state of illusion. Therefore, reality couldn't possibly exist. So why did you think she was for real?

You rejoiced in her. What splendid, fascinating, and new things she brought to your stagnant life. For instance, she could talk for hours about you and her feelings for you. And now, months later you realized that she can even talk for hours "without" you and her feelings about you. But still you have no hard feelings about her. You can Never have them. May be because the one good thing she did was to doubt your capabilities, and it is sufficient for you to go beyond your boundaries to be a successful person in life, in every aspects. She will always be a strong reason for making your life both hell and heaven.

But all I can say is I used to treat those who did me wrong with disdain and nonacceptance  I was afraid that if I were to treat them nicely it would mean that I was giving them the 'go-ahead', 'thumbs-up', to hurt me again.

Little did I know that I was only reaffirming that their choice to hurt me to begin with was the right choice.