Dare to pick up the phone, I am an Insurance Agent !!

"Hello Mr. Manoj, If you remember I have had calling  you since one month for taking  LIC and you tell me to call in July asking about it". A voice over the phone with superior(?) English accent and who just "murdered" grammar with a mere sentence, literally made me jump of out the bed. "Heck , Not this jerk again !", were the only expressions I could afford . "So you are free to talk , right?" , the tone of his voice was rather commanding, than inquiring. Knowing that I have nothing else to do , I decided to pull him a bit and so started the conversation

Manoj - I can talk. Tell me what is it?

Agent : (For the reader's sake, I will translate his speech in what I think is "English !" ) Sir, are you interested in an LIC policy now? If yes, I can go ahead and provide you plans that suit to your requirement.

Manoj - (Haha, even I cant provide myself worthy enough to fulfill my own requirements,but anyway) I am , now. What kinda plans do you have to offer?

Agent : There are a number of schemes available. May I ask you how much do you earn per month?

Manoj : (Wow, thanks for suggesting me the easiest way to get rid of you !) 5000 pm. A flat reply .

Agent : ( Probably after a 30 second pause !) - Okay (This time he omitted "Sir" ;) ), and how much can you invest in a plan?

Manoj : ( Fuck ! This guy is a real optimist, try one more time Mani ) - Hmm..Dunno, around 500 rs? :P

Agent : Sir, as you very young, I would suggest you should go for at least 2k per month's plan.

Manoj : (Fine, it's now on Bitch. I am tough when it comes to give up , son!) I am sorry, but not possible, I just got married and have a wife to take  care of. Max I can invest is 1 grand.

Agent : That will do , sir. But I were told that you work with an IT company past three years. Your salary is a bit low as compared to your experience.

Manoj : (What the heck ! Who on the earth provides information to these people?) Well, the company fired me one month before.

Agent : Oh , I am sorry. But I do have plans for 1 grand. You can take that one as of now and later upgrade it or take a new plan in parallel.

Manoj - (Okay, I give up, you win .Happy?) Hmm.. seems good . So tell me about it. (Now considering the fact that I already knew what he is going to say because I already have a policy, I switched my cell to speaker mode , kept it aside, washed my face, changed cloths and returned.)

Agent : (Still talking ! It surprised me because he was "he" and not "she" ) x%$$^^%^&*.. You there ,sir?

Manoj : I am listening.

Agent : So as I was saying, maturity period can be 20-30 years, depending on your choice and you can get a fair amount which summons up to approximately 6 lacs. 

Manoj : (I get that amount in less than one year you jackass. But anyway, who cares?) It's not very much.

Agent : But sir, you are investing ONLY 1k per month. 

Manoj : (This time laughing on the insult ) . Right. But I met another agent who says I can get up to 15 lacs on the same investment. 

Agent : (Not quite sure about his own expertise in the field) I din come across such policy which gives so much return value. Can you tell me which company he represents?

Manoj : (only if I knew !)He has asked not to reveal the name. Sorry.

Agent : (Still not willing to give up)- As you can see sir, this policy does not involve risk factor. So you will not have to be worried about your money. And there are many additional benefits.

Manoj : ( Why the heck will I be worried about 1k per month anyway? And dude, can't you get it? I am not interested. Why did I start the conversation in the first place?) I don't want additional benefits.

(Do something you idiot..)

Agent : But sir, once you listen to me, I am sure you will be interested.

Manoj : ( It's high time for me to hang up ! So the drama begins!) - Hello..hello.. I can't hear you.

Agent : But I am getting your voice very clearly, as I was saying..

Manoj : Hello..Hello..I think some problem in the network . Please do call me after some time.

Finally ! Damn it, exhausted after this half an hour "Even-if-you-are-a-beggar, please-take-my-LIC-policy" conversation, I quickly added that number to my black list and heaved a sigh of relief. 

Insurance Agents ! They Bite :(

When life doesn't move on

A lot of things are going on these days. When I try to contemplate the situation two years back to the current one, I realize that nothing much has changed in life. Time is running faster than I anticipated. The concept of enjoying life as a youth is lost somewhere among career growth , Struggle, financial stability, family issues, load of loans, and other worries. After few months, I will turn 24 and damn it, living this way makes no sense to me. Being a happy-go-lucky animal, my nature does not permit me to regret over the mistakes I did. I think, I think a lot. I do realize the fact that it's not too late and there are some major things I can still start over or change. But I lack the power to implement them. The feeling of loneliness is the toughest to get rid of. Despite having blessed with so many best friends, at the end of the day, I literally need to convince myself that I am not alone ! Office work has no connection whatsoever with what I thought I would be doing at this stage. I always dreamed big, but my aspirations have buried somewhere in the corner of my heart after successive futile attempts to make them a reality. What I do today is just to pay my bills and loans. Financial security always overcomes my willingness to take a risk and in turn, my self-confidence. With my comedy nature, boyish charm and mature thoughts, I have always been centre of attraction for people. But these things are no longer helping me to stop ever growing inferiority complex. There is not one aspect of my life in which I am good at. Work wise, forever fluctuating between whether to continue with technical field or to get an MBA. Financially, despite earning a decent salary, overburdened with loan EMIs. Love life wise, still a single despite having opportunities to get along with caring, beautiful friends. Family wise, despite being the only son, the inability to call parents to stay with me due to other worries. An Introvert who once did everything that it takes to be an extrovert is eventually turning into an introvert again. I feel I have isolated myself from the world. Now, most of the times I sit idle at home thinking for hours and trying to put some sense in my life, but nothing much comes out. It hurts and feels helpless to see myself turning from once an advice consultant to an advice seeker. Heck ! Life sucks. It does. I need to figure out how to deal with these things otherwise soon I will be a body living with no respect, self-confidence and in turn, no soul.

The "Real" Son of a Bitch !

       Glad that for the first time, I am using this phrase at the right place ! (Most of the times, I end up offering it to the creatures called "friends" ). Few days before, I went to the other part of city to attend my cousin's wedding. Well, I am not much into attending marriages but then one day my mother scared hell out of me saying, "Mani, If you don't attend family weddings, no one will bother to come to yours". From that day, I made it compulsory to show my stupid face and bless(?) bride and groom. After the ceremony was over, I was on my way back home and saw this cutest puppy. He was walking amid the traffic street, not caring that this is not a property of his forefathers. He had no sense or fear, whatsoever. As I am born with a nature that cannot see people/animal helpless (Slight exaggeration, but will do for this point!), I decided to adopt him. By looking at his face, no one can say he is a street dog. On the other hand, every time I go to a standard place, I need to convince people that I am a "professional" earning nice paychecks. Anyway, carrying  him home was another big problem as PMT buses here don't allow to carry "Low profile animals" (pets) along with "high profile animals" like me. My attempts to bribe conductor failed despite me offering him 50rs for a 7rs ticket. So Finally I had to spare around 350 bucks to hire an auto and take him home. As soon as he entered home, he gave me a clear warning of not to confuse his cute face by what he actually is by turning my white tiles into a dirty green-yellowish color . I never thought God will be so kind that I will actually have to clean someone's shit one day. I named him Patchy after a brown patch on his whitish body. So as I thought, Doctor declared him a "dalmatian" cross breed . He must have left home and unknowingly ended up on the streets. Knowing his breed, I spent around solid 5 grands purchasing his stuff. Hell, taking care of a dog is much more costly than taking care of a human being. I mean 900 bucks for a small injection? 1000 for pedigree? 850 for a bed? You must be kidding me. Soon every single thing that once belonged to me was his property. He is like a flatmate offering poo and pee instead of rent ! He eats more than a weight lifter following hefty diet and poops more than a disturbed-stomach person . I was patient, believing that one day he will be trained and make it a habit to do his dirty stuff outside. But he is not ready to change. On the other hand, now I got a habit to clean his stuff before going to and after coming from office. My once neatly cleaned and organized room , hygienic nature are no longer a part of my life. Anyway, he is too young to understand it all. Patience is the key. He is very clever by the way. For example, He never cries or barks at night which helps me to get up on time for the office. And God, you cannot break his defense mechanism . He is adept in hiding himself from danger and if you try to dominate him, he goes very aggressive biting you at the "right" positions that will force you to give up. He is a highly active creature and requires a lot of attention so I have decided to send him home. It is not possible to take care of him throughout day due to office timings and I don't want his active nature to go waste. My parents are very much excited. The proud words from my mother were, "Don't worry, we will take very good care of him. Anyway, we feel lonely after one dog left the home ( Why do I feel it was for me? well, it was !) so another one will make home alive again" . He is such a sweetheart. I can literally spend hours just by having him on my laps. His innocent eyes talk to me. He shows his affection towards me by licking my face all the time. (Okay, that once was the most unhygienic thing for me, but now, it isn't !). I do give him a lot of time but I feel he needs more. Apart from his fecal matters, he doesn't trouble me much . Sending him away is rather a situational demand than my will. Anyway, I can go home every weekend and meet him so this is not a big deal. This is least I can do for him, after all, he is one of the best things ever happened to me !

A "Missed" Journey :)

As per the new sucking time-table, my three alarms rang making hideous sounds that usually force to wake up everyone but me in the building . Trust me, even three alarms mean nothing when you are deep down in your fancy dream holding onto some gorgeous. ;)  Anyway, my home-gifted-cooler makes more noise than the breeze it throws, so most of the times I don't hear alarm bell. Today when I woke up, it was raining. For a moment I literally forgot the fact that I have only one bus that takes me to the office. The weather effects forced me to go back into my dreams and when I woke up again, it was already quarter to 10. "Fuck !" was the only  word I could utter. My area is still under developing stage and many residents here belong to IT industry who either follow strict bus timings or have their own car, so the Government here doesn't bother much to increase the frequency of buses. In simple terms, there was no way for me to get to the office, unless I was lucky enough to be at the bus stand and catch that "we-can't-promise-you-any-proper-timing" PMT bus. Fortunately I was lucky ! A bus came within 15 minutes, showing the real side of India, where people were hanging onto every possible place, in and outside the bus. Knowing that there is no other option, I somehow managed to get into. And the  drama begun !

First shock came when the conductor snatched those 100 Rs. from my hand and handed me over a ticket of 10 Rs., not returning anything back. I tried to protest but that fellow gave me that "you-jackass-either-bring-the-change-or-forget-your-money" glance. He soon disappeared into the crowd, despite me yelling at him. After a 10 minutes struggle, I somehow got a seat. Soon a lady comes to me and points that this seat is reserved for ladies. I stare at her stupidly. I mean come on, every single "Reserved for Ladies" seat was occupied by men so gimme one reason why should I quit on my seat. But alas, I abandoned  the seat like a gentleman ,neglecting that "you-coward" glance of a man seating next to me . The best part was that the driver was still searching for passengers ! I mean how greedy can someone get?  After half an hour, I was standing in a position , which would have put me behind the bars, had I not been in a bus ! Surrounded by 4 feminine creatures touching "every" part of my body and absolutely no space to move, I finally gave up on my money, considering worthiness of the ride. Usually a 20-minute journey took around one hour due to traffic and when I finally reached the office, it  was quarter past to 12. (Thankfully  my lead understood what it means by missing a bus and said nothing when I gave him the reason.) .I then vowed before my "10-100 rs. ticket" in hand that I will never miss the office bus again. Damn it, I need more alarms and less fancy dreams to make that happen !

The Irreversible fact !

Long time, I must say! Human creature takes time to adapt to the new place and considering my "Still-in-the-process-of-evolution" mindset, it took me longer than necessary to fit in the new(?) city. It's been more than two months I didn't blog and trust me, it feels terrible. A decision has been taken and there are infinite factors that make this decision wise AND worse, but there are only two topics that conclude this article. 

One is company and another is location.

Switching from IBM to Infosys

Pros :

Well, there is only one factor, SALARY ! Being an IT animal, it's inevitable to keep finding a better place, both work-wise and money-wise! I am not sure about the former yet, but yeah, latter has made things smoother than before.

Company work culture is really friendly. Infrastructure is stunning, policies that take care of employees are abundant (at least on the paper!) and my project work involves serious coding stuff. So a good chance to master the language during my tenure(well, If I take it seriously !)

A good percentage of feminine creatures (of course, I meant good looking !) in the campus.

Cons :

Feels like I'm in a boarding school.(Again). I now curse the people who showed me the "money" part of switching the job but didn't bother to tell me to give a thought about the work culture of the company I'm going to. Infy or any Indian organization for that matter, imposes a "swipe-in-swipe-out" system. In simple terms, you are locked in the company for a duration of 9-10 hours. This applies even if you have no work left for the day. It seems management here doesn't give a damn to "freedom of life" thing. Being in a company like IBM, where I had liberty to come and go anytime (as long as I finish my work on time), it is a nightmare for me to sprawl out of the bed every morning.

Consider this, I wake up at 6 in the morning (What's so tough? Not in my wildest dream have I ever woke up before 11, when in IBM), decide whether to take breakfast or bath (or both, or none, depending upon the bus timing. (The second option alarmingly becoming rare and the last one, more of a habit !)) . I then meet the minimum requirements to make myself presentable, slog for 10 hours in my dear office, catch a bus at 7 and be back home by 9, eat, lock the door and shoot myself!

No girls in my project, and yes, it bothers me, specially when there is so much grass in other projects and very few horses(or donkeys?) to eat it! (You scoundrel! I know what you are thinking about that "eat-the-grass" term, I am just talking about making pretty friends who give you company in/(after?) office ! :D). IBM showered me in this particular case.

Pune Vs Bangalore

Ouch. Bangalore Vs Pune. What's the difference? A lot, you bet!, both in order of comparison and in cities themselves.

Pros :

My City! (though not excited about this feeling anymore, but who cares about my opinion?In India, parents still play a major role in emotional blackmailing !)

Though I am not a native to Pune, being just few miles away from home is a good comfort (Again, to parents!) They are happy and it makes me feel better. Had it not been for my parents, I would have never imagined to leave Bangalore. That city simply rocks and has given me more than I have ever dreamed of, both in terms of friends and happiness. But life is all about sacrifices. Anyway, I do have hundreds of old school-collage friends here and I am happy to be back. Moreover, It feels good to be at a place where you can speak the local language, can bargain with autowahlas and shopkeepers , go to any place, not fearing about what time of the night it is , so on and so forth ...

Cons :

Weather sucks ! Unlike cool and romantic weather of Bangalore, Pune is coped with extremities in both winter and summer. Though I am born in such weather, being in Bangalore for 2 long years has definitely made me accustomed to its weather.

I can no longer abuse local or company people in my mother tongue for they all speak the same language. ( In Bangalore, it was a solid stress buster to abuse others in the language they couldn't understand, if in case, they screw you and there is nothing you can do about it. )

In spite of having so many friends, company timings on weekdays and the red shiny bitch throwing hot waves of around 42 degrees on weekends don't give me time to meet anybody. And I guess this will go on until June. I have even started thinking that I am going to die alone !

Well, that's all for now. As you can see, a number of factors have made this decision wise and worse ! But life moves on :) Wait ...!! Does it? :O

P.S. It took me two hours to write this article and about 2 more hours to decide on the title :(

What the hell is wrong with me?

Yet Another Lover Left Behind !

(Phone ringing)

He : (Not again !) Hey,how are you?

She: Ohh.. why bother? Does it even matter to you ?

He : (Not really .. ) okay, lay it on me !

She : Where have you been these days? Can't you just call me once?

He : I told you, I was busy in meeting friends and packing luggage.

She : So finally you are coming to Pune. Now I can keep an eye on you

He : (what the heck ! you are doing that ever since you were born !) yeah. Let's see.

She : So have you thought about it?

He: (For God's sake, stop playing with me !) About what?

She : You very well know about what.

He : I thought you were kidding (as always)

She : No I am damn serious. I love you.

He : (Why on the earth it has to be me? :( ) But you loved someone else 3 months before, and before that you were serious for two more guys.

She : That was an infatuation . I think we can get along well.

He : (You "think?") Look,I have already explained it to you. I like you but not in that sense

She : This line is reserved for girls. Don't you feel any shame ? A girl has proposed you and you are acting like a star?

He : (I know why she has proposed me,but anyway) Nope. It may be easy for you but for me, it's a critical decision. what if I say I don't feel the same way?

She : Then you are an asshole

He : (Thought so ! wow. Somebody you love becomes an asshole in the next moment. cool)Thanks. I always was.

She : Do you have any other girl in life? you can tell me

He : (Why do I have to be committed to say NO to a girl like you?) No.

She : Then what is your problem? Am I not good looking? Earning? Educated?

He :( you are way more than that ! But I know you can't handle ANY relation. And your moody nature sucks !) Yes. you are. But my expectations are different.

She : What?

He : Forget, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. you deserve much better than an asshole like me

She : Don't play smart with me. You have to tell me in one word. yes or no? I already have many boys behind me so you should better hurry up.

He : ( Hahaha. what a line ! salute to that. Don't you get it? A big NO) I told you, I am not ready yet. you are free to do whatever you want.

She : Then I will have to stop talking to you.

He : ( As if I am dying to talk to you !) I don't want to lose one of my friends for nothing.

She : You have already lost me. Good night. And delete my number from your list now. Ba-bye

He : (wow. Thanks for the great news ! ) take care. God bless you . Ba-bye.

Girls ! They are complicated !

To Bangalore !

What the hell is wrong with me? I started writing but damn it, nothing is coming on my mind. I edited and reedited one article at least for three times and finally deleted it due to lack of words :( (and title!) I usually don't need any preparation before writing. I just start with anything and go on until it makes sense (which in most cases, doesn't!). I have tons of topics but somehow I am not able to gather the thoughts together. Mixed feelings about leaving the city and joining at Pune location .(I have decided to go for Infosys). In a way, I am both happy and sad. I will certainly miss the city , after-all ,my corporate life started here.

I will miss the weather, the people, my team , pubs, my rumie, that "The Bawarchi biryani", Bobby-da-dhaba, HRC, TIMES classes and the big gang I made there, and nighouts after a hectic weekend class. I will miss those "We-don't-plan-anything,we-just go-out-and-still-can-have-the-best-time-of-our-lives" things with my rumie. Lunch,work and literally useless but fun talk with Swati, Utsab an Wasim, These things are now an integral part of my life and sometimes when I think about them, moving on doesn't make sense.

This city has given me memories. A lot of them .

Although now my team is no longer a "team" as many people left the company, I will always be proud to have Sid as my team lead, my mentor , my friend and my icon. Going away from him is something I fear the most. Aww , there are yet many things to learn from him . I am sure I will be in touch with him (and vice versa . right Sid? ;))

Thanks to Vidhi, Rahul, vishal , Pankaj, Vanya,Amit, Priyanka, Somu ,Anandu, Yash, Rajeshwari ,Saurabh and Tushar Mama for tolerating and accepting me the way I am . You guys made my 2 years beautiful in a strange city !

Thanks to Vratant for teaching me how to live the life. No one can replace your company dude. I will keep the position reserved for you as my rumie, in case you come to Pune.

Angha, Mahim and Nisha and Diya please don't cry!(specially Diya, I know you will ! :P) You are the best(and most beautiful :D) friends I will ever have. I will still be flirting with you online ;) Thanks for being there whenever I needed you . And now stop bugging me for cutting my hair. It will grow by the time you see me again! :D

Hey Soumya! Is the beer deal still on ? Though I did not spend much time with you, I still had a lot of it ! We will be in touch, count me on that ! As I said, "the era has just begun " ;)

Last but not least, thanks to Rahul, Puneet, Shrawan , Umesh , priti and Aparna for the advices and company. I will miss you guys.

I am sorry If I have failed to mention anybody else . Damn it, I never thought my friend list will go to such an extend in two years.

A toast to Bangalore! Cheers :D

Life Quotes !

Ever since I was a child, I have this habit of following great sayings or quotes. My day starts with keeping in mind some quotations, which I follow very strictly. These quotes have helped me in every aspect of my life and made me a happy-go-lucky nature guy! Or I may say, my entire life's principles are based on these quotes. Following are few of them.

1. Whenever you are in a trouble or feel that something has made your life worse, just ask yourself one question, "Will this even matter after 10 years?". If yes, then you seriously are in trouble. But most of the times, the answer will be a NO.

2. Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.

3. Don't take life too seriously, you will never escape it alive anyway.

4. Only people you need in your life are the ones who need you in their lives.

5. Learn to listen, opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.

6. Patience and coolness are the only two things you need to live the life.

7. Pray ! Even if you don't believe in God.

8. Never give up . Success comes due to hard work ,not due to fate or talent.

9. People deserve a second chance, but not the third.

10. Never ever compromise on your self-respect and attitude.

11. Be nice to people, even to your enemies. Making someone happy doesn't cost you anything. Sooner or later, they will appreciate it. !