Monday, February 20, 2012

Rape of a poor language ;)

Few people are bad with grammar and languages. But raping it to the core is a different thing altogether. My higher authorities, for example, speak like a random word generator software. It’s like they know the words necessary to complete the sentence but they just put them in any order, irritating readers/listeners to the extent that we literally scratch our hair. As these people are born entrepreneurs, they refuse to abide by the grammar rules and instead, create their own “raped” version of a sentence. Here are some golden sentences from my friends and some other people.

   If you want(have?) any issues, mail me.
   Why the heck I want to do that?

   You are confusion.
   Asshole, say this to your child. I am not confusion. I have a confusion.

   Please be on top of this issue.
   Thank God, you are courteous enough not to mention the position!

   I am having a bad headache today
   Yeah, as If I get a good one

   This issue is very erotic no?
    Sir, you speak like this in front of the people whose first language is English. And then you complain why aren't we getting enough business from these clients. It’s erratic , you hole.

   (To a Girl) – You will work down with Manoj!
   No wonder I didn't see that girl again.

   I am taking my “wife’s back” to  a doctor
   Haha, lets just hope buddy. You get the point. Don’t you?

   I am taking leave for 2 weeks. So you can expect my absence in that duration
   How hard was that to guess, huh?

   You did it tomorrow, no?
    I just can't take it when people append a "no" to every sentence they speak. And Nope, I will do it yesterday!

   I will brief you "in detail" about this topic today
   Thank you sir, thank you very much. Only Rajnikant or you can do it.

   Would you like to “cum” with me? Ping me.
   No thanks, I would rather “cum” alone :P
  

13 comments:

  1. LOL...

    "Don't spoil your headache, I say"

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  2. hahaha....One of my relative is a complete show-off. Once while working in the kitchen together, she asked me "Should I crash the potatoes?" To which I replied "Yes, you crash the potatoes and I will mash the plane!"
    This is hilarious!

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  3. @phatichar - Haha :P No, I won't spoil my headache ;)

    @CD - Hey first of all, thanks for finding this space interesting enough to follow :)
    LOL. Relatives..hmm..less said about them, the better :D

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  4. "I have a really bad headache today"
    This is such a common one!! GOD! I hate it when people do this!
    ehehe
    others like "OPEN THE WINDOW. LET THE WEATHER CLIMB IN" :P

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  5. Someone tweeted me that she read my post since tomorrow :( I wasn't sure if I should thank her or point the mistake. I thanked.

    But, I did wonder if she is the one who liked my blog posts, there might be a problem.

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  6. @ RED -lol. I will that one in my list ;)

    @Chintan - Haha. Glad that you thanked. There isn't any problem. In fact, now your posts are also liked by people who don't understand English. That's what we call a true writing. Going beyond the words :P ;)

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  7. Hahahahahahahaha even though I am no expert at english language but this is waqae hi too much :P

    Hahahahahaha Yarrrrr I loved the confusion one =D
    @Work down with Manoj... BUwhahahahahahahah rofl serously???? Did ur boss really say something like this??????

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  8. Errrr hmmmm.. You sure you should be writing a post about bad english? :P

    Jokes apart, I'm proud of you for the improvement shown and the next time you have some other girl working down with you my legs and your ass will be doing some serious talking. *Jealous Stare* :D

    Well, I'll sign off I seem to be having a bad headache since tomorrow. Hopefully it will be better yesterday.

    There goes my brief "in detail" comment.

    You can now go and cum alone :P

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  9. @Aliza - Kaha ho jee tussi aajkal? Dikhte hi nahi :( And you will be surprised about what all weird things my "boss" (grr..heck..nobody is my boss! :D) says ! ;) My fav timepass during meeting is to note down his golden sentences and die laughing !

    @Respected Miss Soumya Prasad - Thanku thank u..Feel good factor ho raha hai :D
    aww.. Tu to committed hai ab :S us bechari ko thoda to "work down" karne de ;)

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  10. Buwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah wowww how do u refrain urself frm laughing infrnt of him mtlb I have trouble keeping my teeth in :p

    Kahein b nae yarrr i dont know why but I am unable to click on the publish button :/ yaarrrr in autumn leaves ko right side pe transfer kar do!!!! :p everytime i click i am redirected to this stupid link "http://widgetindex.blogspot.com/2010/03/copy-widget-code-and-paste-it-on-your_8599.html"

    Wese I wrote a short prose... my first ever short prose :p do read and let me know okay??? =D and sachi sachi wala okay none of that crappy courtesy "awww really nice" wala

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  11. ROFL!!!! This was just epic!! :)

    Your newest follower :D

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  12. @Aliza- that seems a problem with your browser :S I mean these leaves don't come between while commenting on the post :). I would have transferred them on the right side, but I forgot how to do it :( And I searched your blog. Where is the prose? :S Anyway, I will check again. Sorry for late reply :)

    @Jen - Thank you, thank you..Welcome dudette :D

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