Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A screaming heart

Dear Blog,


It's been quite sometime I didn't visit you. Trust me, this is not what I ever wanted. You are a part of me that cannot be separated. No one is able to figure out what is wrong. Well, to some extend I know. People say I am a fighter. Screw the people. I once was. There is no fighting back when fate decides to fuck you. I still try. I have always tried. Friends wonder about my drastically changing nature. They say I am no longer charming, I have lost it ! They say I seem depressed. They complain I never tell anyone what is wrong in my life. They are right. I like to keep things to myself. The incidences in early childhood have made me that way. I trust only myself. I don't like anyone's sympathy or advises. Life has never been fair to me. Did I ever complain? At least I don't remember cribbing about my problems. I stand upright and I face them. I always did. 


Till date, no body has ever been able to figure out the intensity of pain behind this ever smiling face. But I guess you know it all, don't you? Remember our first encounter when I was 10 years old? You were a diary then. Remember the things I went through? Those insults, tortures? infinite sleepless nights? That inability to find a single person to talk to? These things are locked somewhere in your pages. It took me years to be what I am today. You know that everything was next to impossible. Did I ever give up? People say I am a role model for them. They say they want to be like me. Do I consider this as my achievement? Why don't I feel happy about it anymore? Only you and I know what had happened in past one month. Tell me, did I ever do something wrong to anybody? Did I hurt anybody in my life? You know I am a good person. I know I have dozens of friends who are there for me. So why is that my life keeps fucking me every now and then? Why am I having problems in every aspect of life? Am I turning into a beast and a loner? I need to get out of this. The fucking fate/luck can't write my life the way it wants. I won't let it do it. I am working on things. One at a time. I know it will take time. But you have to keep your faith in me. I have to keep faith in myself. I won't let my life go back to the time when it was nothing. I am a born bellicose. Trust me, Mani will be back. Rocking and Kicking.


Dear Followers/Readers/Friends,


I am glad to see that you are still there with me. It means a lot. A strong bond I share with you guys which cannot be expressed in words. I don't get time even to visit you people, to see what is happening in your life, but you still understand me. Thanks for being there. Just hang on a little longer, I will be back with my stupid comedy articles ! :)

4 comments:

  1. Hmmm sojourn eh? Good for you, take a break and come back with a bang!

    Awesome improvisation on the punctuation. Proud of you. Just so you know, nobody is a single word :)

    Take care everything will be fine.

    Muaaaah :)

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  2. Don't loose faith. Not ever. Trust yourself and give it your best. Best wishes.. :-)

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  3. dont worry things will be good again..and you wrote this once on my post ''Live with it , let it go, let it flow,And whatever happens, never EVER lose this ---> :) :) :)

    so im saying back those words to u..

    hope to see a comedy filled post soon

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  4. @Soumya - Thanks. I still don't care about it much :) But I guess it's high time I should work on these things

    @Kunal - Thanks bro :)

    @TOSM : Hey that is really comforting. And it really means a lot. Yes, I am now flowing with it! And as you hoped, there is one ;) Cheers!

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