Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Top 10 Funny/Irritating Facebook status !

1. I am going Home - Seriously? And you really think people care?

2. Just took a shower - Dude, are you freaking kidding me? I hope you at least put on the clothes or did you directly come in front of your laptop to update status?

3. Feeling Hungry - Then go and eat, you dumb-ass. How hard is that? and why the heck the world needs to know about it anyway?

4. She broke my heart ,she is a bitch - I am glad she did. People like you who don't understand the word "privacy"  deserve to be kicked. And even if she had feelings for you, now after reading your status, rest assured, she is never gonna come back !

5. Reached Karnataka border, 120 km away from home- Well.. No comments !

6. Watching XYZ movie with my GF , it's awesome - How on the earth your GF din mind to come with an attention seeker like you? You idiot, if you keep us updating like this(not that we care!), probably this is the last movie you will ever watch with your GF.

7. I am in a sad mood - Tell me, what do you expect from us? Dance for you? 

8. Yippe, got a new laptop/mobile/bike - Buy one for us as well and we will think about liking your status or commenting on it :P

9. Feeling sleepy - Asshole and you still have time to update people about it. Just go and sleep. We don't care whether you are feeling sleepy or dead !

10. I will now have breakfast at 8 - For this one, I was literally banging my head against the wall for 10 mins. I mean come on ! Thank god you din feel it worthy to share your bowel movements !

Monday, August 22, 2011


He sat there alone, in the corner of a dark room. The weather outside with dark night and heavy rain created a perfect milieu. “Do I have any reason to live without her?” He asked. But the mind refused to give the answer, knowing the rhetorical question. He was a strong person having ability to overcome the emotions. But again, he WAS. Today was different. His heart wanted to scream and this time he allowed the tears to flow. He remembered his old days. He was a man of honor and principles. There were no addictions, love life, whatsoever.  Over the years, things changed. And before he could recognize what is going wrong, he found himself trapped in the cruel hands of Love and now, suddenly released.

How can she do this to me? How can she end 4 years of a relationship within a minute? There were no answers. Just the questions. He was crying like a kid who might have lost its loveliest thing. Giving it a thought for few more minutes, he finally picked up a knife from the kitchen. The tool looked dangerous in his hand. He stared at it for a long time. Then slowly, he started cutting his vein. He felt no pain. At least not physically.  The darkness in the room overshadowed the red colored liquid oozing from his hand. Knowing that there is no pain, he stabbed the knife deep in his another hand and then in stomach. Memories from the childhood flashed in front of him. Loving parents, his achievements, the days when he was single and happy.  For a second, he decided not to die. “But it is too late now”, he whispered, feeling the weakness.

She was not sure how it would affect him. She din even have an idea that the funny plan of trapping someone on an April fool’s day could lead to his death. She gave no explanations,  just said “I don’t want to meet you ever, we are breaking up. It’s over”  and left. She was desperately waiting for 12 O’clock, to reveal the truth, not knowing that it will never be revealed.

“Should I call him? He is too sensitive and might take all this fun thing in a wrong way”, she thought.
“Oh come on, let us see his face when you tell him that you made him a fool, just wait for another half an hour”, one of the friends gave a “valuable” suggestion.
She hesitated. She had kept her phone off since morning to make him think that she is serious about what she had said. “What harm can half an hour do?” she said, oblivious that the harm is already done.

He could feel the drop of pulse rates. He was not sure how much time had passed . Drenched in the blood, he was now certain about his death. It was just a matter of time. “May be 5-10 minutes more”, he thought. He was worried about his parents. 

“How would they react after knowing their only son died?”. “Who would take care of them?”  “Is she of more importance to me then my parents?” . “Do I deserve to die for others harsh decisions?” A number of thoughts flooded his mind. But he was too weak even to respond to the thoughts. The phone on the table started ringing. He just smiled. “No calls on this number from tomorrow”, he said, slowly closing the eyes.

The unread message said, “ Hey, I am so sorry. We had a bet to trap you on April fool’s day. How can I ever leave you alone? The day you die, I will die honey. Please pick up the call, I love you.”

Monday, August 8, 2011

Awesome One Liners !

Well, these one liners always make me laugh, no matter fucked up my life is.
The most effective ones include

1. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

2. Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are. ;)

3. If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"

4. The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth !

5. Silence doesn't mean your sexual performance left her speechless.

6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

8. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

9. If you ever want to see a man cry..Put a beer in one hand and a naked woman in the other..And..MAKE HIM CHOOSE!

10. I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, then I realized --- look what's telling me that.

11. I dont make mistakes, I date them.

12. Do you belive in love at first site, or shall I walk past again?

13. I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on EBAY

14. By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

15. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich

16. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time

17. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing .

18. If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now :P

19. I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem !

20. Early to bed, early to rise, and your girlfriend goes out with other guys. ;)

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A Thought

"Despite having so many friends, why do you sit alone at home like an idiot? Go out Mani, enjoy the life!". I just smiled. Someone who doesn't even know about me was showing me the path to happiness. Though I am a party animal who is always ready for hangouts and mixing with everyone around, now-a-days I enjoy spending time with myself. Being alone doesn't necessarily mean you are sad. In fact when I am very happy about something, I just like to be with myself. Because this part of me is eternal. The only person who is not bound to materialistic things, when it comes to being there for me. Over the years I have seen friends and priorities changing. Nothing lasts the way you want. I mean think about it. How many of your old school/collage friends are still there with you? Even if they are, what is the frequency of calling them or when was the last time you met them? Dint they make promises to you once about not ever letting you go out of there lives? That they cant live without you or vice-versa? Nobody noticed but gradually the number of calls reduced from 5 times in a day to once in five days, then once in a week, then once in a month and now somebody just calls me on my b'day and then we don't speak until the next b'day. On social sites, they are just a part of  big crowd saying "Hi" or pressing "like" button. Everybody has excuses, "I don't get enough time" is one of them. How can you not have time for the people you care? And anyway, how much time does it take just  to say, "I am missing you and our old days?" You very well know that 10 mins of yours can add to someone's everlasting memories. What stops you then? It is really the time constraints or is it something else? Why is that the sharing 1 beer among 4 friends used to make you happy despite you now being able to afford a whole can for yourself? Why is that rides by filling 30 Rs. petrol in a friend's bike used be the best rides of your life but now a ride in your own car seems not so worthy? Why is that the pleasure of having 6 roommates in 1 BHK was more than you owning a 2 BHK for yourself? Why is that you still remember begging someone asking for his mobile just because you ran out of balance in the middle of the conversation with your best buddies but now when you have all the balance you need , you don't have someone to talk to for hours? The more I think about it, the more I feel that this so beloved Money has ruined everyone's life. I have started hating the words such as dreams, aspirations, career ,future growth. Why do you need all these things in the first place? Simple. To be happy. Isn't it ironic that we had literally screwed our one part of happiness in order to gain another? Why do you wonder where you will be in a year or two when you don't even know where you are now? Except your office colleagues, how many numbers are there in your cell? People whom you have not called in ages? I am sure you will come up with more than a dozen numbers. Weren't they an integral part of your life once? Now what happened? We always have the lame excuse of "Life needs to move on" . No, it doesn't. We force it to move on. Going back in times, I realize that the friends I have lost touch with are the most important ones and the friends I think I am so close to aren't exactly the greatest people I have ever met. So when you know that the people you gonna be friends with wont last for a lifetime, Isn't spending the time with yourself a better choice?