Friday, March 26, 2010

The Time Factor...!!

Recently I am going through a very tough phase, which deals with managing my time.The work load is increasing like anything and I have no time to study. There was a time I used to study at least for 3 hours of day, despite any god damn fact, but now it has become impossible to be focused. 

Well,there are two main reasons.

1.My project went bust. NSN is one of the most expensive and innovative projects, and perhaps the only project which boasts to be in research and development type but still falls under GBS. (we usually have these kinda projects for ISL..err..just digest it..!). There are many reasons why this project went bust so lets not get into that. Over the time, branches in US,Germany closed and the work has been transferred to India. (Indians do the same amount of work in 1/3rd of any other IT animal's salary in the world. Budget management you see !) And now the condition is that every person in my team will be burning his ass almost three times as much as we used to . (of course with the same amount of salary) So unwillingly(yes,unwillingly !)I will have to be in office for more than 10 hours (hmm I usually work for 8 hours now-a-days, which include a 2 hour lunch and 3 coffee breaks, one hour each !:)) at any given point in a day. So when I come to my sweet home following this routine, forget about studying for an hour or two, even the very thought resting your ass on study table becomes atrocious. I have my GMAT exam in august and the only chance to get outta this poor(?) and unpredictable IT industry. And I am stuck with this project which has no future and can be shut down anytime. But I have no choice but to work(hey after all,I also pay my bills :()

2.My sleep routine..!!There was a time I was bound to (and used to) follow my sleep timings. Of late, I have been fluctuating between hyper insomnia and oversleeping and I cant find out why. Sometimes I sleep for almost 11-12 hours(And mind you, I do this on weekdays, weekends are a different story) and when I wake up, it's usually mid day and that is when I go to my dear office. (Perhaps the last person who enters in those hallowed walls of IBM) or some time, I literally wake up in d middle of a night(2-2.30AM..!!) and do nothing but try to sleep again. If that does not happen, (which in most cases, doesn't..I just pass the time by doing anything but study).And finally by mercy of my sleep, I doze off around 5-6 and when I wake up,its again mid-day or something, giving one more chance to my manager to put me on that  "I will-fire-this-asshole"s list..!!

Aww..I used to be a very punctual guy for the past 15 years.Now what the hell is happening to me? I even tried a time table(Yes, I actually follow it rigorously.No laughing please!) about my study and sleeping timings but it just doesn't work :(

Project is having very critical circumstances and if I don't get out of it this time, I am going to have no future. But still this bloody sleep overcomes these thoughts..!! :( well,what the hell, I don't wanna live just by earning 20k for my entire lifetime! I will get out of it..(hopefully at least on the day before taking the exam.)Because If I don't manage TIME this time, this Mr.time will be managing me soon !

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Something From Deep Inside

Yesterday I was waiting at a railway station to receive my friend. One stranger came to me and asked for 100 Rs. change. While giving it to him, a 2 Rs. coin slipped outta my wallet, so, by habit, I Picked it and touched it to my forehead. And I realized the stranger in front of me was in tears !

I asked him the reason, he didn’t reply but on the other hand, he asked back a question. "Why did you touch that coin to your head?”. I, being a fool, gave a foolish reply, "It’s Goddess Lakshmi and I should respect her". And I was astounded by the stranger’s reply. “Always give respect to your money. There was a time I was a millionaire. But I never respected my wealth, and now look at me. I don’t even have money to eat daily bread." And without waiting for my reply, he disappeared in the crowd.

When experts discuss topics like Recession, slowdown, cash crunch, layoffs then I feel frustrated by the hype we have created about it. I am no finance expert neither this is the topic I can talk. But the effect that these things have on our daily life forces me to think about something.

Our forefathers came from many different villages to the city. They bought houses by saving each penny. During those days, words like “savings” were not for teaching people how to and why to save. That was an integral part of our forefather’s lives. People used to save money at least 2-2 months before buying an ordinary item like pressure cooker. The house was not addressed as “one-room-kitchen”. No matter how small the space is, the feeling that we are living in our “own” house was sufficient. No one really needed their “own space” for living. So dozens of guests were welcomed In a 2 room house. Women had so much daily work to do that they never had necessity of joining aerobic/yoga classes. People not only knew their neighbours but everyone in the town lived as if they are a family.

Then time changed. Wages of our young and dynamic generation increased day by day. We now came to our "Big" apartments! Earlier when relatives used to come, we had very little space to accommodate them. Today, space has expanded but now we don’t even have time to visit them, let alone staying there for a couple of weeks. In earlier days, there used to be only one TV and entire village could claim its authority on it. Now-a-days we have at least 3-4 TVs in a home because everyone wants to watch a different channel. Gone are the days when people used to buy new cloths only on some special occasion. Instead of having cheap or expensive category, we now have "full payment" or "EMI." or "credit/Debit card".

Do you even realize how much we have changed our definition of “NEED” with the changing time? (and of course salary). I am not saying this because I don’t want money. I certainly do. I love it as much as you do. But that is not the whole issue. The question is if tomorrow something bad happens and we have to manage with a very little amount of money, will we be able to do it? I guess NO. Are you aware that banks are not only for the purpose of drawing money but sometimes we should also deposit something in it?

Let’s see positively towards recession, slowdown or the layoffs incurred because of it. In these situations, we will at least come to know what our true "needs" are. When everything was fine, we had enjoyed it to the fullest. So why can't we accept it if the situation is not so good now? In greed of earning more and more money, do you remember how many old friends and relatives you have lost? When was the last time you called all the numbers you have in your cell? or visited all the people you lost contact with? When was the last time you saw the sunset or sunrise and smiled? when was the last time you actually not worked and relaxed for a day with your family? Have you even talked once to your next door family or your neighbour ?

Let’s spend 30% of the time in a week for doing the things that won't help us to earn a penny. Just fill your life with the people you love, for your hobbies, for the things you want to do and see, how Happy you are..! We really have "lot of money" but the problem is, all our money is wasted in showing people that we have it. Let’s not allow things like recession or depression affect us. Don't forget about the rule of nature. Something that is going up will certainly go down sometime.

Get hold of your "piggy bank" laying somewhere in the corner of your room. Open it gently. what do you find? You will find some coins that you had saved for buying something that you like, you will find a clock that you had bought for your father from your very first salary. You will find the ticket of a bus you boarded while going for your first interview! Can you see that yellow ticket?? It's the ticket of a movie you watched by saving money from your pocket. Search deeper in your piggy bank. What do you find? You will find a plenty of free time, memories, struggle, those funny moments with your near and dear ones, those crazy things you did with your friends, that canteen, your last bench, those 20 Rs. prepaid recharge coupons, friends who were so close to you once but now the inability to contact them, and many things that you gained or lost during your journey. Just watch that piggy bank once with your eyes wide open and then close it. Keep that piggy bank in a place where your eyes will always remain focused on it and then continue with your life. Does something just changed? If yes, what is it? :)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Before I Die..!

Few days before somebody asked me, "what do you want to do with your life Mani?" and to be honest I didn't have the answer. It's not that I am careless about my future or ambitions but the question was intended to what I want to do that will give me satisfaction of having a life. Well, here are the things I want to do before I die.

1. Write a novel which will reflect the other side of me.

Yes. Though I do have many things to say about my life, expressing them in the way I want is certainly not an easy task. I am trying my best on it. :)

2. Fall in love with someone, helplessly and unconditionally.

3. Learn to play guitar.

4. Meet my old school and college friends.

There are people who are not meant to be forgotten. People who were with me through thick and thin. Someone who taught me how to live the life, someone who taught me how to be firm, someone who taught me how to be careless, someone who taught me how to be sensitive, someone who taught me how to maintain relationships. The list will never end. They were, are and will remain with me, no matter what!

5. Run an orphanage

Though it will take much time, I am determined to do it. It's something I want to do since my childhood. A way to pay back to the society.  Let’s see  :)

6. Spend an evening in a highly expensive restaurant(a candlelight dinner..!!) with my mother

Weird? Nah. I want to tell her how much I love her. That she is the only one who was always there for me. When I lost my identity, she told me who I am. When I lost my confidence, she assured me that I am destined to do greater things in my life. When everyone neglected me, she was the one who always had time for me. When I felt lonely, she was just a call (or sometimes a hug) away. I can do anything (I mean anything) to keep a word of her.

7. Be emotionally independent

This is one thing I tried many times but never succeeded. I get attached with people very soon and most of the times realize that they were never supposed to let me down, but they did. I was aware of the saying "Never trust anyone but yourself". As time passed I learned how true it is. I want to be the person who never trusts anyone. Odd it may sound, but we are supposed to learn from our experiences. Aren't we?

As I said, everything is very much achievable.! Someone just needs time to think and act accordingly  :)