Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Corporate Culture!

1. Try to learn local languages, because no matter how many times you ask local folks here to speak in English, it's just a dog's tale that will never straighten up!

2. Keep at least one document/coding window open when you are doing FBing or doing any other TIME-PASS stuff. It will help you to switch the window, if in case, your manager tries to keep an eye on what you do. Trust me, no one really remembers what you do in busy schedule, but yes, no one will ever forget (at least till the time of appraisal!) what you do in free time!

3. Keep a coffee mug ready before you go to the team meeting. (Just in case you don't want to sleep). But if positive, the only place where you can sleep not caring about your manager, is the left seat beside him(though rest of the team will widely stare at you, but who cares?) :evil grin:

All I can say is team meeting is one of the best opportunities to sleep (Because even if you pay full attention to it, believe me, you will end up in the same state as you were before. So why take chances? ;))

4. Never ever judge a girl by her "cute and innocent look". And if you are a smoker, don't consider yourself smarter, IBM girls (or most of the corporate girls for that matter) can beat you anytime in sending out that dirty gases. (From the mouth, of course!). And consider your expenses if you have decided to marry one.

5. Don't curse your fate for not having beautiful faces in project. It really helps to concentrate on work (After-all, that's what we get paid for. Right?) And by the way, "You can always do your bird-watching during lunch time. Just don't expect anything else, most of the girls here are committed either to work or ..You know what I mean.. :)

6. The only thing you can do to prove yourself a "talented person(?)" in conference meeting is to SHUT YOUR MOUTH and be a good listener. Because so called senior members will "assume" that your are talented unless you dare to tell them what you have understood. One interesting time pass you can do in conference meeting is just try and focus on each and every word (mind you, only word, not it's technical meaning) they say in Japanese accent English, French accent English, Korean accent English n so on. Believe me, regular practice will make you accustomed to any English accent in the world.

7. No matter at what time you sleep at night, learn everything about your manager's office timing and please try to come at least 5 min before him, otherwise, I bet you will get that "you-are-good-for-nothing-I-will-throw-you-out" look. And yes, don't even stay for 5 more minutes after he leaves! Moral of the story? Let your manager realize that you come before him and work hard(?) till late at night (I actually work more than my working hours, but later I learned that it's  equally important to advertise your work . Business requirement, you see). 

2 comments:

  1. wat lies u had some(5) very beautiful faces in ur team ;P

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  2. aww..its a general statement !!!

    ReplyDelete